All Posts By

Colin Gel

December Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“If I expressed it in this grounded reality, made it manifest
Would the longing cease…
Or merely move on to something other that was just beyond my grasp?
My fear is that the something that I reached for would die…
Disintegrate…
Turn into something ugly…  

Or judge me for my stepping out of time.”  HELEN TREMEER (1999)

Quoting (below) from my musings on social media about the Saturn/Neptune square in the mutable signs (exact square late November, 2015 – mid-June, 2016 – early September, 2016):

“Saturn/Neptune contacts can provoke guilt and overwhelm and a sense of needing to make reparation in some way. It’s not always clear where the responsibility lies for the circumstances in which we find ourselves and there’s likely to be a testing of our idealism; a bringing us back ‘down-to-earth’ at some level.”

One of the astrology pages I follow mentioned a connection between these planets and Frankenstein (there’s a new film out, and apparently, these two planets were in aspect at the time of the original story)!

This prompted a search for Mary Shelley’s original novel and more musing on the the planets: Neptune’s confusion, sacrifice and lack of boundaries; Saturn’s responsibility, integrity – and the figure of the scapegoat… and my own words (top) which I shared in connection with these planets (see tsu or facebook for the full rendition 😉 ), ‘turn into something ugly’ seemed even more apt than they were at the time of writing…

In the Frankenstein story, Victor lost all the people that he loved – could that be seen as reparation for stepping beyond the bounds of ethics and creating a ‘monster’?  And if the monster had been given love and not ‘scapegoated’, would he have been able to integrate into society?

I also thought about Poseidon, giving a beautiful white bull to Minos to show support for his kingship, and Minos swapping the bull for another in his sacrifice to the god of the sea.  Minos’ wife falling in love with the bull also results in the birth of a monster…

Stepping beyond the bounds… not making a fitting sacrifice… getting our priorities the wrong way around… are these the challenges of Saturn squaring Neptune?  And, as a global community, are things such as genetically-modified food and cloning (not forgetting the present world situation around who is responsible for terrorist attacks and the care of thousands of ‘refugees’…) leading us once more into regrettable outcomes?

As we approach the festive season, perhaps we could focus on Saturn’s urge to integrity and responsibility?  His realism could temper Neptune’s tendency to ‘rose-coloured glasses’ and help us to manifest a grounded love and compassion for all of earth’s creatures…

Love and blessings,

Helen x

November Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“The (natal) chart is like Ariadne’s thread which allows us access into and out of the heart of the labyrinth, but… not actually the thread.  The real thread is the process of consultation that leads… to the living myth symbolized and created by that person’s chart.” RICHARD IDEMON

Individualising… is so important.

For one person, the impact of a transit of Saturn could be structuring and enabling, for another, it might mean having to face up to failure and a sense of ‘come-uppance’.

So many ways to interpret the symbolism… and the most important sense of meaning comes from you!  What does it mean for you?

Neptune has been ebbing and flowing over my natal moon since early June, 2013 and in my first house of self for far longer!  The lunar bit will be over in the New Year (2016) and I sense that land is in sight on this Odyssean journey (or perhaps I’m learning to swim in the deep waters in a way that keeps me afloat until the next landing 😉 ).  For some, the Neptunian energy can feel like total dissolution, for others there’s a sense of expansion into something transcendent and a building of compassion – or maybe all of these!

In following the ‘thread’ (see quotation above), the symbolism of astrology can be really helpful in making some sense of the ‘happenings’ of our lives – for instance:

Just now, the osculating apogee that is called Black Moon Lilith, is making its way through the sign of Libra, and Lilith is the ‘wild self’ – the untamed self (or that part of us which we’ve hidden away because it has always been unacceptable to others).  Tom Jacobs (‘Lilith: Healing the Wild’) talks about this position of Lilith calling for, “an infusion of unfettered honesty in(to) all meaningful relationships” and she’ll be in Libra until mid/late December, 2015 (or until early January, 2016 if you’re using the ‘mean’ position rather than the ‘true’).  Tom further looks at this placement as our needing to, “open to hearing the truth of the other, even when uncomfortable” – she’s been here (on and off) since early March, 2015 (or since end August, 2015 with the ‘mean’ position).  Her ‘obscure’ energy may well have been important for those with prominent placements in the cardinal signs (Aries, Libra, Cancer and Capricorn), but perhaps a little overshadowed by the more obvious transits of Uranus and Pluto as they continue their journeys through Aries and Capricorn respectively.

December, 12th, I’m running a small group workshop focusing on the myths and stories associated with the signs and planets – do get in touch if you’re interested in working with your own chart.  There’s also some information about this on my facebook page…

Love and blessings to you, the things you’re releasing and the ancestors you’re honouring at this time of Hallowe’en or Samhain (for those of us in the northern hemisphere at least)!

Helen x

N.B. From December’s newsletter I’ll be using my gmail address – see below and side bar!

October Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“It took me many years to realize that everyone involved in the abandonment dance was living out their own stuff… They wanted me… I wanted (them)… as a reflection and perpetuation of (our) unresolved issues… we were all looking for dance partners in an empty ballroom.”  JEFF BROWN

Sun moving forwards in Libra coincides with Mercury’s retrograde in this sign, with the recent lunar eclipse straddling the signs of Aries and Libra.  The nodal axis (predominantly retrograde in its movement) will shift its focus to the signs of Pisces and Virgo from mid-November, 2015 (the north node having been in Libra since late February, 2014).

We could see the last 18 months as a time of reaping the karmic harvest in terms of our relationships; a time to reflect upon the themes of self and other.  A time, perhaps, when the focus has been to find and own our desires and tune into a renewed sense of who we really are (without which we cannot hope to truly relate to another)?  Or a time when we’ve been called to stay with the courage of our convictions – even when that has led to conflict or to taking steps which we ultimately decided against?

Libra is the sign that’s associated with indecision – that paralysing indecision which Tracy Marks so beautifully expresses in ‘The Astrology of Self-Discovery’:

“Enmeshed in the strands of a dozen alternatives… I have sat for hours… remain(ing) paralysed at this crossroads not because of want of evidence but because I am unwilling to expend the energy to choose and act upon my choice…”

Aries (subjective, active, conflicting) and Libra (objective, reflective, harmonious) complement each other (as do each pair of zodiacal opposites).

In our own charts, the rising sign (Ascendant) is associated with our subjective sense of self/our window on the world – and the Descendant (7th house cusp) is associated with one-to-one relationships/what we project out as ‘other’.  The themes of the signs on this axis are likely to be seen in how we relate/what we relate to.  The themes of the south node are about, “…the tendency that we all have to repeat old patterns, or to be defined by our knee-jerk reaction against them…” (Steven Forrest), with the themes of the north node having, “…no intrinsic energy… (they’re) nothing but an excellent suggestion,” (ibid) to utilise the complementary energy of the opposite sign to help us move forward in our lives.

Take a moment, at this reflective time of year, to contemplate and/or play with the above themes in your own chart – might help to make some sense of those repeating patterns and bring some insights and possibilities for the future…

Love and blessings,

Helen x

September Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“Your task now is to accept. Rejoice. Be glad in what is. And go on. Just as the gambler might have a drink ‘to the game’ after a round of cards, whether s/he won or lost, celebrate now just because you have come this far. Give a toast to the flow. Shake hands with your friends for a game well-played.” 

Jupiter sits at 4Virgo35 as I write (he moved into the sign on 11th August, 2015).  Transiting Jupiter opens us up to new possibilities and tunes us into our aspirations and our urge for expansion.  In Virgo he’s likely to increase the urge to teach and to learn as well as our problem-solving capabilities – bringing a healthy scepticism where it’s needed (which may well help us to navigate his exact opposition to Neptune in Pisces in the middle of the month).  Take a look at which house he’s influencing in your chart – are you feeling inspired and optimistic in that area (or perhaps prone to self-indulgence, ‘biting off more than you can chew’ and looking to where the ‘grass is greener’)?

We had a Jupiter/Saturn square (Leo/Scorpio) at the beginning of August, 2015, with the energies of expansion and limitation confronting each other, urging us (indeed, perhaps helping us) to find a way of structuring the new possibilities in our lives, as well as injecting some enthusiasm into the work that has to be done (this repeats next spring in mid-Virgo/Sagittarius).  ‘Shaking hands… for a game well-played’ could well be followed with some ‘back to the drawing-board stuff’ as we re-integrate in order to move forwards again…

I love this time of year – that ‘back to school’ feel (perhaps because I’m so influenced by Virgo’s energy natally and/or because Jupiter rules my house of aspirations?) – and Jupiter’s presence in Virgo enhances that for me.  The present build-up to the Jupiter/Neptune opposition might offer a way of holding both ends: tuning into the finer detail and then letting go into the greater whole; focusing followed by blurring (or indeed vice versa) – a bit like the optometrist does when working out the prescription for your next set of lenses 😉

If you’re interested in learning more about astrology in your own life I’m looking at a 6-week evening course (Monday evenings in Kendal, Cumbria – for beginners) starting from the first week of November, 2015 (£15.00 per session and including a free one-to-one consultation taken within 6 months of the course) and/or a series of 5 one-to-one appointments (over a maximum of 6 months) at £40.00 per session (the latter can be used to work with astrology alone or in combination with energetic healing techniques – in person or via skype).  Perhaps this year of Jupiter in Virgo will be a year of great assimilation!

Love and blessings,

Helen x

August Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

‘The old man spoke again.  “It is impossible to talk with you.  You always draw conclusions.  No one knows.  Say only this.  Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not.  No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse…”’  (from Max Lucado’s telling of ‘The Old Man and the White Horse’: http://www.barnabasministry.com/quotes-oldmanwhitehorse.html)

My brain doesn’t appear to be functioning ‘on all cylinders’ as I write, and I feel as if I’ve been waiting for the subject of August’s newsletter to appear (I realise looking back through my newsletter lists that I rarely write a newsletter in this particular month, so there’s space for something new to happen – perhaps…?)

I was thinking about cycles and meaning (what else do I ever think about? ;)) and wondering how on earth I was going to achieve any rational sense of what to write (after last week’s viral ‘thing’ which has left me rather under par…) – but perhaps it is not the ‘rational’ which is important just now…

My natal planet of communication and thinking is undergoing some stress, with Chiron’s opposition and a quincunx from Uranus happening at the same time.  Sometimes I’m a bit like a mobile phone that’s forgotten how to predict the next word… and other times a word ‘appears’ like magic and fits like the proverbial glove!

Looking back through the repeating cycles of the planets can give us insight into what’s happening now – but not always.  And if we try to ‘pin it down’ too soon – draw conclusions too soon – we can lose the meaning in the process of trying to find it (as well as forgetting to live the moments of our lives as they happen).

I was reading an e-mail from Chris Cade about his life-coaching – and he chose to talk about the skill of ‘UN-knowing’.  He described it as, “… allowing the mystery and the Divine to reveal to me what I most need to know…” – I can certainly resonate with that just now…

And meaning isn’t a universal thing… we need to give it time… meditate upon it… take a break from it… and find our own meaning in the circumstances of our lives.  In the story quoted above (see link), the man’s neighbours always think they know the meaning of what befalls him and he is content to wait and let it unfold – he knows that he doesn’t know and that is enough for him…

This also resonates with the studies of Neil Douglas-Klotz (about the words of the ‘Aramaic Jesus’).  Neil talks about the Jewish practice of ‘midrash’ and the Sufi Muslim practice of ‘tawil’, where the reader is free to interpret the scriptures from the multiple meanings possible in the Middle Eastern languages – and come up with their own understanding of what it means in their daily life (and yes, you can use astrology in that way too 😉 )

How about allowing your life to unfold rather than trying to pin it down…?

Summer blessings!

Helen x

July Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“Feelings stretching back through time/Beyond time/To a space where I felt you moving/And longed to be touched/Can we peel off the layers of pain/The eons of hurting and torment/And touch the ecstasy that almost was?”  HELEN TREMEER 2001

Venus conjunct Jupiter (21/22 degrees Leo) – the first of three conjunctions as we await Venus’ retrograde path towards the end of July (from 25th July, 2015 at 0Virgo46 to 6th September, 2015 at 14Leo23).  I’ve been reading about ‘Big Love’ and the ‘re-enactment’ of the Star of Bethlehem (as this is the closest conjunction of these two heavenly bodies for about 2000 years according to NASA), but I wasn’t feeling the ‘wonder’ of it at all!

Chiron’s position in Pisces was making a close quincunx aspect (150 degrees) on the day of the exact conjunction (30th June, 2015), and I was feeling the pain of the seeming impossibility of reconciliation (in a personal sense as well as on the ‘world stage’).  As with any quincunx aspect, it is so difficult for the emotional overwhelm of Pisces to sit easily with Leo’s luxurious fire!  The two energies have to work to find a way of ‘seeing’ each other, which often involves the subtle art of knowing when to compromise.  Alan Epstein, in his book about this aspect talks about it having, “… the capability of inducing or challenging others to reassess their beliefs and entertain different possibilities…” (now that’s certainly something to aspire to!)

Chiron is retrograde just now, and back-tracking over ground covered since May, 2014, and Saturn’s retrograde into the last degrees of Scorpio (he’s in the sign until 18th September, 2015) is likely to heighten the intensity of the water (emotional) energy.

Turning all this around, there’s work to be done!  What a great opportunity for working to heal those old wounds, for growing our compassion for those aspects which are (to date) ‘unhealed’, for re-building our faith and re-working our values!  This isn’t an overnight ‘cure’, though – it takes time.  To illustrate, here’s another quotation from Melanie Reinhart on the transits of Chiron (used in a recent social media post):

“…while waiting for the new centre to be created and to emerge, we need to make allowances for the fact that we may be off-balance for a considerable period of time…”

What about using this time of Venus’ retrograde to commit to your own journey of healing (whatever that might be for you)?

Love and blessings from Helen x

P.S. Venus conjuncts Jupiter again in early August (28/29 degrees Leo) and late October, 2015 (15/16 degrees Virgo) and I have a workshop day looking at transits on Saturday, 8th August, 2015 (do get in touch for more information).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“All the answers are already there.  All the lessons you need to learn you’ve already learned on some plane or another.”  (Solomon speaks…)

The sun is in Gemini and, today, the moon is approaching fullness in the opposite sign of Sagittarius (16:20 GMT at 11Sagittarius49).  Gemini is the air sign, gathering all the clues, the facts and observing this fascinating world.  Sagittarius is the fire sign, seeking the meaning of all that Gemini gathers… and this month’s full moon is illuminating our understanding, helping us to see the ‘bigger picture’.

Leading up to this full moon in Sagittarius, we’ve had a time of ‘disjunction’ where nothing seemed to fit – the energies were at odds with each other.  There’s still an element of that with a continuing yod formation between Mars, Jupiter and Pluto creating what I feel as a ‘pinball’ effect in the areas of passion/irritation (Mars), expansion/philosophising (Jupiter) and power/destiny (Pluto).  Perhaps you’re feeling thwarted and lacking perspective?  Perhaps there’s an urge to pin down those things you have no control over?

Mercury continues retrograde until the late evening of 11th June, so we’ve a while to go yet ;).  It’s certainly been an interesting retrograde so far (it retrograded from the exact degree of my 4th house of home and family), with scaffolding erected outside our flat without notice on the day of the new moon, broken window panes and waste pipes – and a newly-formulated website for Astrology & Healing (that last one is looking good)!

I started this newsletter with the knowing that ‘all the answers… are there’ (see quotation above) – it resonated with me in my contemplations this morning, along with a strong sense that the problems of accessing the answers often lie in not really knowing what the question is or, perhaps, in having asked the wrong question or chosen the wrong time.  In his re-telling of the myth of Parsifal (http://kevmartin.org/samples/parsifal.html), Kev Martin says that Parsifal’s question was not answered, “for with this question, to ask well is also to answer,” so maybe the answer that we seek is contained within the question at some level (and it did result in the healing of the Fisher King)?

I have a series of bi-monthly workshops on offer and the next ones are on Saturday, 13th June, 2015.  In the morning (10.30am-1pm) we’ll be exploring the astrological qualities or modes (cardinal, fixed and mutable) and applying them to our own charts, and in the afternoon (2-4.30pm) it will be more ‘ad lib’.  You can sign up for these separately (£18.00 each) or together (£32.00 for the day).  Do get in touch if you would like more information.

Love and full moon blessings at this time of the full moon in Sagittarius…

Helen x

May Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“Our tragedy is not that we suffer, but that we waste suffering.  We waste the opportunity of growing into compassion.”

There’s a deep sadness in me as I write this month which coincides with Chiron’s transit (around 20 degrees Pisces) of my natal Mercury and the retrograde of Saturn (around 3 degrees Sagittarius) as he makes his way back over the challenge to my natal Venus.  Melanie Reinhart talks about Thoth as representative of Mercury in Virgo (she references a book by Pam Tyler) – he “represents control, discipline and the productive use of mental energy… the ability to withstand conflict, to encompass the duties of daily life with dignity, and thus to be productive.”  Chiron’s influence brings in the Trickster (and yes, the figure of the Trickster is often about during Mercury’s retrograde phases, and the next is almost upon us – from 19th May, 2015 at 13Gemini08 to 11th June, 2015 at 4Gemini34 😉 ).

“Self-knowledge comes to us only in the dark times, when we are stripped of illusion and naked to truth.” 

My recent reading has taken me deeper into the subject of obsession (in Ricki Reeves book about the quindecile aspect – a 165 degree angle between planets and/or angles in the chart).  She says, of obsession that it’s “a by-product of accumulated anxiety… the mind’s way of… defending itself against painful emotions…”, and compulsion (which often goes together with obsession) is described as “the action taken to release this accumulated anxiety”.  I wasn’t really surprised to discover several planets in quindecile aspect in my own chart, shedding yet more light on a childhood experience of obsessive-compulsive behaviours (which I kept well hidden at the time ;)) during a transit of Pluto to my natal sun (both planets being in natal quindecile aspects in my chart).

“Silence does not always mean indifference.”

Chiron’s continued journey through the sign of Pisces (until late February, 2019), at a time when we’re still experiencing the sudden upheaval and deep loss connected with the Uranus/Pluto square, could exacerbate the sensitivity we have to the painful events happening on both a global and a more personal scale.  It’s more difficult to hide from our woundedness when this planetoid is affecting our lives.  We’re called to move through the pain to a place of greater compassion – for others as well as for ourselves.  (Oriah has a lovely ‘meditation for waiting’ in the book about her poem, ‘The Invitation’ – she says that it, “helps me wait, without closing to life, when I have no faith or hope.”)

Mercury’s retrograde (see above) will be picking up Neptune in Pisces, so we may need to wait it out and not draw conclusions for a while (Mercury enters his own shadow from 4th May, 2015).  And for those with planets in mid-cardinal placements, Pluto’s retrograde may feel like being pulled back into the Underworld – and that unpredictable Uranian influence is always a force to be reckoned with!

Et crois-tu donc distrait le Dieu qui t’a frappe?  L’homme est un apprenti, la douleur est son maître,  Et nul ne se connait tant qu’il n’a pas souffert.

The quotations (in bold type) are all from a book by Mary Craig entitled, ‘Blessings’.  I read it years ago – before I knew anything about astrology, never mind Chiron!  And the words that I kept from it resonate so well with his energy, which also seems to heighten our sense of synchronicity…

Love and blessings from Helen x

PS: I’m hoping that my newly-formulated website will be up and running by next month’s newsletter!

April Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“Unlike scientific goals, the goals of humanistic psychotherapy are neither predictability nor control.  In fact, the more successful psychotherapy is, the less predictable the individual becomes, because his rigidity is reduced and his spontaneity and creativity are increased.”  MAURICE TERMELIN

I feel like I’m in disarray – writing this letter from a place of trust.  My website is being updated (so the links only take you to a ‘waiting’ page) and I haven’t yet decided what stays and what goes.  My energy feels pulled in different directions, but there’s a knowing that somehow this all fits together and I need to allow the loosening process, not block it and stay with the ‘predictable’ – not try to ‘get it right’.

What about you in the aftermath of this last Uranus/Pluto square?  The sun in Aries has been picking up the separating square in the last few days and today (8th April, 2015), it is Mercury’s turn.  Insights and ‘aha’ moments, and the need to think ‘outside-the-box’.  Because the box just doesn’t fit any more!  Reminds me of that quote from Einstein that appears periodically on social media: “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

I attended a Denise Linn workshop in the late 80s entitled, ‘The Art of Agelessness’ and the thing that has stayed with me was the need to keep changing.  Try something new, even if it’s a small thing like wearing your watch on the other arm for a day or going without a watch if you’re used to using one (but wait a minute, that’s not small at all – it might be the beginning of a revolution!)

I have workshops coming up and plans to get a beginners’ astrology course together in the near future.  I’m also at the beginning of exploring astrology from a shamanic point of view as a project for my training (another exercise in trust and letting go of the box).  And I have room for clients looking for healing support in these changing times – on its own or combined with insights from the natal chart.  Just give me a call if you’d like more information whilst my website gets back up and running…

I wrote the piece below back in May, 2012 – I don’t always get to that place of ‘sweet awareness’, but I’m getting there more often…

Love and blessings on their way to you,

Helen x

WRITING FROM THE VOID

Writing from the void

From that place deep within

Not knowing what comes next…

Writing from the void

From a place of dreaming, of unformed thoughts

Wondering what comes next…

I’m writing and as I write something unfolds…

The map I’m following ‘becomes’ as I move

Breathing in the void

In that place deep within

Sweet awareness…

And the next step follows naturally from there

March Newsletter

By | newsletter | No Comments

“The myth is the public dream and the dream is the private myth.  If your private myth, your dream, happens to coincide with that of the society, you are in good accord with your group.  If it isn’t, you’ve got an adventure in the dark forest ahead of you.”  JOSEPH CAMPBELL

Your mythology may coincide with that of the ‘bigger picture’ you were born into or it may not.  Perhaps some aspects of it fit well and others don’t (which is the more likely scenario).  And Joseph Campbell sees this ‘unfitting’ part as a call to ‘adventure’!

Bringing mythology together with the astrological signs and planets was something of a revelation for me.  It deepened my knowledge of astrology as well as my self-understanding – and gave me another ‘map’ for exploring astrological symbolism with others.

My lunar ‘self’ lives in the oceans of Pisces – drawn to the call of the sirens; lost in the seas of the unconscious.  My solar ‘self’ seeks the purity of Virgo – my mother used to tell the story of how I (as a very small child) would hold my hands up in horror, insisting that she wipe away whatever mess was on them!  How well that fits with the goddess Dike (Astraea) who left the world in disgust, preferring to become the constellation of Virgo.  But, as Liz Greene so aptly points out, “soiled goods offend Virgo, yet the goods must be soiled if life is to be lived.”

The connection between astrology and mythology also helps me to make some sense of the world I see ‘out there’.  As we approach the last of Uranus’ squares to Pluto, for example, I can imagine Uranus in Aries as Luke Skywalker (a modern-day mythical character) fighting the old order (The Empire) of Pluto in Capricorn.  And as Chiron makes his way through the sign of Pisces I can feel into the energy of the wounded healer archetype, the sadness around that which is not ready to be healed and the opportunities this brings to practise compassion.  I also know that these archetypes are a part of all of us (they’re not only ‘out there’ – maybe they’re not ‘out there’ at all?), and in working on ourselves we are helping to shift the old patterns and move towards a more hopeful future…

The voyage of Odysseus is one of the stories which resonates with the sign of Pisces.  In it, Odysseus is punished by Poseidon the sea-god for his use of deception (the Trojan horse) to conquer the enemy.  Deception is, of course, one of the themes of Pisces/Neptune – and Odysseus’ triumph meant that it took him 20 years to get home, getting lost, becalmed, duped, entranced, and many times almost killed as he attempted to get there.  As a child I was drawn to the story of the ‘Little Mermaid’ (very Piscean in its energy), and it was in watching the film, ‘Splash’ in my twenties that I began to realise that these stories weren’t ‘fixed in stone’ and that perhaps the endings could be reworked.  Unfortunately, the Odyssey is never a straight path, so it’s been a long time coming! 😉

For March Newsletter

I’ve got a workshop day coming up in April to introduce some of the myths and stories associated with the signs of the zodiac.  In the afternoon session there will be space to explore some of our personal themes on the big chart format.  Do let me know if you’re interested as places are limited.

Love and blessings to you at this time of Odyssean adventures!  Helen x